For Eris. My bean buddy

**Firebird98** · September 30th, 2003, 10:25 PM

The Caffeinated Cross

...found many places and not original to us.

The Long Form:

Stand, facing east, holding your coffee cup, filled with the mystical brew, in your power hand, and assume a posture of wakeful alertness.

Bring your coffee cup to your forehead and intone:
"LATTE"
Lower your coffee cup to the vicinity of your navel:
"MOCHA"
Bring your coffee cup to your left shoulder:
"CAPPUCHINO"
Bring it across to your right shoulder:
"FRAPPUCHINO"
Clasp your coffee cup in both hands over your heart chakra: "ARABICA, OH MAN!"

Extend your arms to the sides, and intone:
"BEFORE ME, MRS. OLSON"
"BEHIND ME, JUAN VALDEZ"
"AT MY RIGHT HAND, M J B"
"AT MY LEFT HAND, THE BROTHERS HILLS"
"FOR ABOUT ME SWIRLS THE COFFEE AROMA"
"WITHIN ME SINGS THE CAFFEINE HIGH"
Drink the coffee, in communion with the spirits of the Sacred Coffee Bean. This last step may be usefully repeated as long as you like.

The Short Form:

Face to the East, whether you have risen before noon, or not. Raise your full mug of coffee, whether you take the bitter bean straight or put food in it, and salute the rising sun.

Take a big swig.

Raise your mug again to the East and say loudly, "God! I needed that!"

**erisesoteric** · October 1st, 2003, 09:29 PM

Coffee is the source of all light and happiness in the universe.

[img]wink.gif[/img]

**Firebird98** · October 1st, 2003, 10:11 PM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
Mennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

To my lord and savior, Juan Valdez! Saint of Sanka! My faith to Foldgers!

**erisesoteric** · October 2nd, 2003, 06:10 AM

Although, I'd be afraid to try the long form of the ceremony, cause I'm pretty sure I'd spill coffee on myself.

For those of you who are wondering what the HELL Bird and I are talking about, do a google on the keyword "Javacrucian"

They are real.

I'm scared.

**tyledras** · October 8th, 2003, 07:40 PM

And yet people keep telling me that idol worship died at long ago...

**erisesoteric** · October 8th, 2003, 09:48 PM

My understanding of Javacrucians is that they don't actually worship coffee, they see it as a sacrament, a gift from god. So they're not worshipping it anymore than you worship the wine that you drink at communion. It's not the item itself (coffee or wine), it's what the item represents, that's important.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 09, 2003 06:09 AM: Message edited by: eris quixote ]</font>

**tyledras** · October 11th, 2003, 12:09 AM

I WAS joking. but on that note, it isn't quite the same, since i'm catholic. Catholics believe the bread and wine actually turn into the body and blood of christ, whereas the coffee, even if blessed, is still coffee. both gifts, but a marked difference in substance.

and it is still scary to get that into coffee. I mean, i love coffee, but even I ain't that obsessive! at least, not over coffee i'm not....

**Firebird98** · October 11th, 2003, 09:08 PM

Would you two knock off the bickering? You have no idea how hard it is to concentrate on offering a sacrifice to the Coffee Pot with all that noise in the background